Joke of the day

[quote=MacEohaid][quote=Crywolf]"I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."[/quote] Was that real life or a joke? [/quote] joke

Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s quicker than walking.

[quote=Crywolf][quote=MacEohaid][quote=Crywolf]"I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."[/quote] Was that real life or a joke? [/quote] joke[/quote] [url=https://i.pinimg.com/564x/37/88/31/378831fd6c64524de6a4fc76ed9a127a.jpg]really? [/url]

What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner's on me.

[quote=Crywolf][quote=MacEohaid][quote=Crywolf]"I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: 'Don’t go in there! Don’t go in the church, you moron!' She was watching our wedding video again."[/quote] Was that real life or a joke? [/quote] joke[/quote] I know, I was just joking!

Repair man shows up at the house and inquires: "Where's the thing that doesn't work?" She points over to the couch and says: "He's over there." (playing dominating 12)

[quote=MacEohaid]Repair man shows up at the house and inquires: "Where's the thing that doesn't work?" She points over to the couch and says: "He's over there." (playing dominating 12)[/quote] LoL

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.

My bank really loves me. They tell me I have an outstanding credit card balance!

a man without eyes saw plums on a tree he neither took plums nor left plums how can this be?

[quote=Tennesseelogman]a man without eyes saw plums on a tree he neither took plums nor left plums how can this be?[/quote] i got you TLM ;) the guy had only one eye

That reminds me of a 'poem' from the late great magazine I read as a child. It always stuck in my head: [quote]"One bright day, in the middle of the night, two dead boys got up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, drew their swords and shot each other. A deaf policeman heard the noise and came to save the two dead boys. And if you don't believe this fine tale is true, just ask the blind man, he saw it, too!"[/quote]

a man without eyes = yes, he had 1 eye saw plums on a tree = he saw 2 plums he neither took plums nor left plums = he took 1 plum and left 1 plum

I'm so good at sleeping I can do it with my eyes closed!

I am consistently unconsistant except on days ending in Y, then I am traditionally untraditional.